After the Rain (Anime) Review

TW: Underage Attraction, Age Gap, Predatory Dating, Blackmail, SA, Assault

Just write. That's what I'm thinking finally. I've stared at this page a number of times and puzzled over what to say. I assume everything would feel wrong, it would be too personal, too under researched, to foolish. I realized the moment I started to think of writing again, it was in part so a friend of mine could read it. This was my first mistake. To write for an audience that will only perhaps appreciate it, if it feels genuinely from the self. I can be wrong; but if it feels like it's from me, that is not necessarily the worst thing to be. To being wrong then.

After the Rain is 'wrong' and yet seems to not know whether it wants to commit to that choice and pass itself off as approving of the central premise as it seems; a seventeen-year-old girl, Akira, falling for a forty five-year old man, Kondou, is okay; or if it is trying to imply this is a distraction, that this focus and intensity is born of two people who have lost sight of their true passions. Akira, a former track runner, the fastest of her team and friends, who has undergone surgery to heal from a injury but feels that cannot recover; Kondou, an ex-writer who used to passionately write without care but lost his marriage after pursuing it unhealthily after losing sight of it. To understand this better, it would probably benefit from me reading the manga and better understanding the author. That will wait for a review of that; for now, we can only work with what we have before us. And that is something which indulges in its cake and devours it too.

After the Rain prominently features a character this is supposedly the bad inverse of Kondou and Akira; the kitchen cook. A man who actively pursues younger girls and is implied to desire them sexually/aesthetically at a minimum. We see him imagining the seventeen year old Akira naked, we seem him use blackmail to push her into a date with him, we see him frustrated or bored with her little reaction to him and force himself physically onto her. And we also see, after this episode, apart from one throwaway line, he still works in the kitchen, he is confronted about his behaviour at work and remains to the end as a background character at the cafe. Now, why this matters is a simple personal perspective; this whole narrative is supposedly an analysis of the twin themes we mentioned above; the potential reproach or engagement with a desire we have we feel we cannot have; and what we feel we may wish to do that we are running from or feel is now impossible, that we have forgotten our passion for. The love Akira feels is supposedly taboo but the reason Kondou matters is that it's a reflection of the overall second theme; lost passion. He remembers through Akira, what it feels like to be a teenager, to feel teenage love or passion, to feel a yearning for youth or the things he loved during his youth. His meeting with his friend, later in the series is the most masterful at looking at this feeling; a yearning for what once was while accepting two things; that the passion is still there, but the impetus to pursue it is in waiting mode for the right push forward. And second, that while some things changed, some things do not have to. So why this cook matters, is ultimately, they are meant to be the, as much as the anime can have an ill or 'evil', the worst aspect of both Akira and Kondou reflected in themselves; a character who is older, pursuing the feelings of their youth, without abandon; a character that seeks a taboo connection and desires it intensely, to gain that persons focus. And yet it is done with force, blackmail, coercion. It is predatory, hunted for. And yet the anime is of course, confused. It is mixed between indulging in the feelings of Akira and Kondou, and reprimanding them, potentially to portray the confusion they feel, unsure of their feelings. But sometimes, it even feels like it wants to imply those feelings are something to pursue. To wait and pursue more.

I cannot discuss this further without talking of an element of the ending. So please bear that in mind before continuing. I will be essentially explaining the thematic ending and last lines shared between characters.

Akira and Kondo, by the stories end, have come to independently realize the promises they made to themselves, to follow the things they love, even through difficult times, have pushed them to renew their interests, in pursuing track and field and writing. Though this also ends in a resultant desire to tell the other when they have completed their promise. The structure of the scene, with sentences that feel they are left hanging, with the world around them shifting to an infinite sky and with a scene of an imagined run and hug by Kondou, mirroring a scene Akira imagines earlier in the series, also seems to imply a desire for an intimacy, or at the least an intimate moment of shared connection in their renewed promise. But it also, with the way their words linger on their promise to each other, not only doesn't disavow the idea of pursuing a connection with each other, but potentially can be interpreted as a promise to persue that connection when their promises have been achieved.

As someone who has both had partners older and younger than myself, I am keenly aware of how connection is something which can hit us regardless of what time or place we find ourselves in life. But the reason why I am not appreciative of this element, is because the power dynamics of relationships are something that are essential to both disavowing ourselves of ill intent by understanding our power we hold over others and others have over us. When we're older, we need to respect that even if we approach a situation with an emotional honesty, that we unconsciously have more experience, even if we think we are naive of the world., that we have to respect that those who adore us, can be hurt if we do not remain aware of the power of our words and position. And if we are the one who is gazing up in joy, in relentless desire at someone, this can lead us down a path to be manipulated, to change ourselves for someone who we want approval from even if it's at the cost of who we feel we are. These feelings are things that this anime tries perhaps to express. But it does so in a way that feels messy, that it feels it waves the finger at some, such as the cook, but beyond that, simply feels a stern 'no' is enough to genuinely enough to both pick apart and rebuke behaviour that is truly based in the worst aspect of the above feelings I mentioned. Perhaps it's an honest naivete on my part, but the anime seems intent to introduce him to point out mostly how Akira is simply a mirror of these feelings, pursuing the exact same cafe and movie with Kondou as the cook does to them, because their desires are similar. Perhaps, but one is operating from the opposite end of the power dynamic, one from the desire to gain the others' attention while still learning how she's feeling, while the other is used to this from an older perspective and is doing so using coercion. His position as the cook, as someone with seniority over her, even to the fact he cooks the food she eats during lunch, make it so if she speaks up, this could be a fearful position. But this is not explored, albeit through this very lacking in understanding episode. I do acknowledge, this date they have, Kondou and Akira, is born from a moment where Kondou offers one to her to show her he is undesirable and Akira takes it, eagerly and firmly. There could be an element where Kondou feels coerced into this by needing to honor an agreement. That's a fair argument to be had even if I am not sure I completely agree. We need to analyze how pressure works to understand the offering of something does not mean it is entirely on the other for accepting that; Kondou's offer of a date for example, plays into Akira's desire but also, is still Kondou indulging in a feeling that is for themselves rather then considering Akira's feelings; giving them what Kondou wants while not actually discussing fully why Akira or even he wants to say yes and more for the sake of an episode to set up the contrast between Akira, the cook and Kondou.

Outside of this, the art can be pretty. The music is gentle, if pleasant in places. The anime is visually lovely to look at in spots. The art style does feel that it indulges in long shots or examinations of Akira's form, especially her legs and feet, which feels sometimes as if it's deliberate in trying to examine the feelings and growing desires of a young woman but can also feel like it's positioning the main character as an object of attraction, such as with her slightly suggestive pose during every episode ED. It's confusing as I am still learning myself the length between sexuality as one belonging to someone and sexuality as a way to display characters on the whim of others, for the attraction of others. I feel After the Rain in places lingers on the latter, at different points doing small actions that feel perhaps leaning towards the titillation, such as an implied orgasm and the use of see through clothes on occasion.  My perspective is still honestly; adults producing works looking at the sexuality of teenagers will inevitably misinterpret what it means to do that and sometimes sexualize the teenager as opposed to portraying the character dealing with sexual or romantic thoughts in a way where the character owns that. I am honest in that I am still learning how to define the line myself; I feel however After the Rain fails to do as of my thoughts right now.

Ultimately, it's hard for me to observe this anime outside of this key failure to create consequence for behaviour or action that it tries to approach with a multi-layered analysis and then simply forgets as and when convenient. Why this anime matters to me, why in part it might be worth watching, or not, was it reignited my desire, albeit slowly to write again. To try and find a way through the slog in my head and write something that can be scattered, messy, problematic and open to growth. Much like the characters in the show perhaps should have realized they were using each other to move back on to the things they truly enjoyed and move past each other perhaps, that is what this show has done for me. It's helped me find my path out of the rain. And in that regard at least, I am grateful.

I would not recommend this show to you, due to its content, currently. However, if you do wish to watch it, it's parts on literature, and it's discussion of passions and finding our way back to them is a valuable one.